The complete guide to the World Cup sex rules

When you’re competing in the world’s most-watched sporting event, you don’t take any chances with your stamina and bodily performance. So while experts do disagree about whether having sex before a game can affect a player’s performance, many teams at this year’s World Cup have implemented sex rules.

Sex is permitted on these teams: Germany, Spain, the United States, Australia, Italy, Netherlands, Switzerland, Uruguay and England.

Sex is banned on these teams: Russia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Chile and Mexico.

Nigerians can also have sex, but you need to be married — players with girlfriends can’t have sex.

Costa Ricans can have sex, but only in the second round.

The French can have sex, but not all night.

And the Brazilians can have sex, but not “acrobatic” sex.

And this is no joke. These sex rules are for real. And it’s real interesting how many of them are ‘on brand’ [i.e. they fit the cultural stereotypes of the countries that set them].

 

Richard Sauerman
Richard Sauerman
Articles: 150